Couple Image First Date Advice
Online dating can be a great way to meet men. But it also leaves many women feeling disillusioned, hurt, and used to the point where they feel that online dating (or even dating) is definitely not for them. The thing to remember is that there are a lot of men out there on the internet. Many of them are cute as hell and they know it. For many men the internet is an easy way to meet easy women – not because women are looking for casual relationships but because we are loving, trusting and find it hard to resist a man when the chemistry is obviously there.
But that’s the thing – chemistry does not mean he’s looking for a relationship. And with the number of men available for you to meet it’s even more important to protect yourself during online dating. However much fun you’re having with him the real dating DOES NOT start until you meet in person. And when it does make sure you know the dating mistakes to avoid. In the meantime here are 5 more mistakes to avoid in the early stages of online dating if you are looking for a serious relationship. Take care and look after yourself and you can have great fun with online dating!
1 – Thinking He’s “the One” Already
When you meet a guy online, you don’t know anything about him. Even so, if you hit it off with him early on, you might think you feel the chemistry before you’ve actually met. If you find yourself prone to this type of behaviour then you need to beware of yourself. Don’t let yourself get in too deep before you’ve met him and taken the time to get to know him. If you do, and he’s not genuine, or not looking for a relationship, you are setting yourself up for pain and heartache.
It’s easy for people to pretend that they are other than what they are online and, if you allow yourself to fall for him too early, not only are you going to risk being very disappointed, but also not spotting the signs that he’s not right for you. When you invest in a relationship too early on, you are likely to give and expect too much too soon, Follow the dating rules when meeting a guy online. Always make sure that you know what you are getting before you give your heart.
2 – Smothering Him With Attention
OK, you think you like what you see but don’t become an online stalker. Give him the space online that you would give him in the real world. If you are always there when he’s online; if you always contact him as soon as he appears; if you continually email and message him demanding his attention, he may be flattered at first but he is soon likely to want space away from you. Keep your mystery by not always contacting him. Let him initiate contact sometimes and you at other times. Let him wonder what you are doing by not being online. Hold back and see how eager he is to send you a message. This will tell you loads about him before you even meet.
3 – Acting Superior, or Competitive, or Showing Negative Attitudes
This covers all sorts of topics of conversations that could crop up when you first meet. Try and avoid anything that could get heated such as politics and religion. Don’t tell him everything about yourself – you don’t need to sell your bad points – let him find those out in his own time. Don’t go on about your exes or your previous history of bad relationships. Or let him know how desperate you are for a relationship or to have kids any day soon.
There may be times when you suspect a man’s motives are not in your best interests, especially when you start to learn how some men function around women. But stay cool, even if you don’t like something he is saying. It is better to back out gracefully rather than attack him with your suspicions or negative feelings. Be nice whilst protecting yourself. Simply cut ties with men that don’t have good boundaries online. Self-respect is simply so much more comfortable than revenge.
4 – Talking about Sex
Again this can happen with a man that you’ve only just met but find yourself heavily attracted to you and either you or he brings up the subject of sex. If you have any sense you will avoid this topic (and the men that bring it up) early on. Often they are trying it on to see what you are likely to give out. And if you give it up too early that’s the end of the romance already. But, yes, he will happily take advantage of you first. Follow the dating rules and don’t give your body away until you know what kind of a man he is. Well not if you want the relationship to go any further in any case.
5 – Putting Yourself at Risk
This is common advice but make sure you follow it. Meet in a public place in sight of other people. Don’t put yourself at risk by getting into a car with a man you don’t know or going back to his place or taking him back to yours. If he offers you a lift, then politely decline, no matter how much you fancy him or what kind of expensive car he has. Keep yourself safe and make sure he knows that you value yourself far too much to be put in any of those situations. Because if you don’t value yourself enough to protect yourself, it is highly unlikely that he will value you that much either. Please put yourself first in these situations and don’t leave yourself open to any premature regrets. Your life and your relationship is in your hands so protect yourself by putting YOU first.
The more men you meet online and the more times this leads to dates (or even mishaps and heartbreak), the more you will learn to spot the tell-tale signs of what’s going to work and what isn’t, of what you want in a man and what you don’t. So be sure to look out for the lessons hidden in every encounter.
What else should you be looking out for? Well, if he’s been around online for a very long time, this may mean he’s a player. Same if he’s quick to suggest meeting up or is more interested in talking about sex than wanting to know about you. If he’s easily upset by something you say, or upsets you, this could also be a huge red card. Or if he disappears suddenly he’s probably struck it lucky with someone else. That’s OK because everyone’s there to meet others, so move on gracefully. But only you can protect yourself from the non-genuine men out there, so keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, and trust your gut instincts when they say he’s not right.